Raising Your Children to Confide in You
Are you worried that your kids will grow distant from you as they grow older? You’re not alone. Most parents worry about their bond with their little ones. They fear the time when their kid may not confide in them when something’s bothering them.
Raising your children and getting them to trust you enough to share their secrets with you aren’t going to be easy. You need to be attentive and practice patience to make them see you as their confidante.
Here are some tips that will teach you how to build trust with your toddler so they’ll be more open and honest with you when they grow older.
Be a Good Listener
Becoming a good listener for your kids is easier said than done considering how kids love to babble non-stop. When you’ve got a lot on your plate, it can be difficult to truly listen to what your kids are saying and make an effort to understand what they mean. Dismissing their “rants” seems so convenient.
When kids can sense that they are being paid attention to, even when they are just venting, they’ll feel a lot more comfortable telling you about things that truly bother them. They are likely to come to you for help when something is troubling them because they know they will be heard.
Make Eye Contact
Listening is more than just hearing the words and responding. You need to look them in the eye and give them your undivided attention whenever you can.
If you’re mindlessly scrolling through your phone while your kid’s trying to get your attention, then you need to the phone down and listen to what they’re saying. Even if you’re busy running errands, you can still look at them from time to time and ask specific questions so they know they’re being listened to.
If you see your kid getting restless when you’re not able to listen to them with your full concentration, then it’s a sign that you may need to devote more time to them. Let them know you care about what’s going through their mind.
Try Not to Interrupt Them While They Speak
Sometimes when you listen closely to your kids, you notice something strange about their behaviour and feel compelled to interrupt them to let them know they’re in the wrong. When your kids get the feeling that they’re being judged by you every time they decide to confide in you, they won’t feel comfortable coming up to you anymore.
Instead of being judgmental and cutting them off while they’re speaking, you need to listen to what they’re saying. After they’re done venting their feelings, you need to sit down beside them and gently tell them where they went wrong and how they can do better next time.
If you approach all your conversations with them as though you’re part of the same team, instead of pointing fingers at the first sign of dissent, then your bond with your child will only grow stronger.
When your child doesn’t trust you, they won’t share important details about their lives and ask for your advice when they need it the most. Instead of shutting them out, you need to listen to them with the same enthusiasm they have when they’re confiding in you.
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